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As adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) we often think that we're so high-maintenance to those around us--what with our disorganization, trouble managing time, and lack of focus, among other things--that we need to be constantly making up for all the things we are, and are not. But you have to stop punishing yourself. If you don't allow yourself time to manage your stress, slow down, and make self-care a priority, then you'll never break out of the overwhelm-burnout cycle. Your attitude also plays a significant role. You see, you might be contributing to the problem in more ways than you realize. It comes down to this: if you act like you're an incompetent mess who always needs to be making up for challenges and weaknesses, then this is exactly the way people will treat you. Think about it. People take their cues about you from none other than you, yourself. Have you ever watched a reality show like American Idol? Even if you don't like it, chances are you've seen it. What happens when someone has a less-than-stellar performance and then apologizes for it? You probably think to yourself one of the following things: 1. Wow, I have no idea what she's talking about. I thought she did a great job! 2. He needs to stop apologizing because he's making it worse! Simon is gonna eat him alive. 3. Man, this girl is so annoying! All she does is talk about how bad she is every week. I hope she gets voted off already! On the flip side, what happens when a really good singer makes a mistake? They move on and keep going. They acknowledge the mistake when it's pointed out by the judges, but they don't dwell on it. Which type of contestant do you (and the rest of the world) root for? Most likely the latter. And, of course, these are the singers who tend to be the most successful in the competition. Art certainly does imitate life in this regard: If you present yourself as a confident, intelligent, and friendly person, then this is what others will see and accept. If you present yourself as a pathetic screw-up who can never do anything right, then this is what others will see and accept. You control the way people treat you by the way you treat yourself. Accept who you are--flaws and all. Respect yourself. Take charge and present yourself as the person you are, and the person you want to be. And if all else fails, then fake it til you make it! Stop punishing yourself. Start living. Copyright (c) 2008 Jennifer Koretsky
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Jennifer Koretsky is the Founder of the ADD Management Group, LLC, author of Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD, and Co-Founder of the upcoming Virtual AD/HD Conference. Jennifer and her team work with ADD adults who are overwhelmed with everyday life in order to help them simplify, focus, and succeed. To learn more, visit www.ADDmanagement.com .
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